


● LAPIS LAZULI ●

by prettiugli



Series: ･ LAPIS LAZULI [I, II & III] ･ [1]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh! - All Media Types, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Dark Side of Dimensions, M/M, NSFW, Post-Dark Side Of Dimensions, Prideshipping, Romance, Sexual Themes, Smut, Timeshipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-04 15:28:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 5,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14596035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettiugli/pseuds/prettiugli
Summary: Atem's journal entries.●●●[☆COMPLETED☆]●●●Part two here:LAPIS LAZULI II





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

●●●

* * *

 This work is dedicated to all my readers who have been following my journey since my very first story.  
  
Thank you for your readership.  
Thank you for inspiring me to write.  
Thank you for encouraging me to post frequently.  
Thank you for basically giving a shit.

There will be no author's notes at the end of each chapter, so this will be the one and only.  
Thank you, [YLJE](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13916181) for your ability to spot typos! You make my story so much more readable!  
  
This is a little different from the 10k word chapters we're all used to, but please bear with me for a second as I'm always aiming to produce fresh and interesting content.

With all that being said, please enjoy.

I wrote this for you, dear reader.

* * *

●●●

* * *

  _Third day of the month, sunny._

 I saw Seth in the garden, talking softly with Kisara, and I couldn't help but see Seto Kaiba standing there too.

It was quite a painful memory.  I walked away quietly so as not to be heard.

I also had a dream about Yugi. I was floating at his bedside, watching his peaceful expression, and I yearn for that tranquility again. 

Sleep wasn't a requirement when I didn't have a sense of self, or a physical body. But now...now I don't know

I know I'm being ungrateful.

This is my heaven, my well-deserved "afterlife", but it doesn't feel like much of a life.

Where is Yugi's smiling face? Why am I not waking up every morning to stand beside his mirror, watching him get dressed for the day's events? Instead, I am staring at only a reflection of myself, surrounded by things I am intensely familiar with, in a room I thought I would never see again.

Worst of all, are my thoughts of Seto Kaiba.

He is a worthwhile opponent, one of the most intense people I have had the (misfortune?) of meeting.

No, that's a lie. I am lying to myself.

His energy draws me in, and I can't shake it off. 

I think I miss him. I can't tell which I miss more, Yugi’s warmth or Kaiba's cold gaze. 

Does he remember me? He doesn't know I exist, how could he remember me, Atem you're being stupid. He would address you as Yugi. 

I need to rest. Shimon came in just now to offer me some wine and water, both of which I refused. 

I don't need a drink, I need peace. 

I don't have peace.


	2. Chapter 2

_Fifth day of the month, light rain._

My sleep is getting worse, so I'm up, rambling into these pages.

I have to be quiet because I'll be damned if someone comes in asking if I need anything. I don't need anything. 

I need

I need someone to talk to, who won't think I'm insane. I need someone to be my friend again, not because of my royal status, but because they genuinely like me. Now I'm missing Jou, and Yugi again. Did Kaiba ever like me? Or was it only Yugi's potential he was chasing after? That must be it.

I've only talked with him a few times, and in those moments, I felt close to him, but it was always cut short.  
  
My time with Yugi was too short. My time with everyone was too short. 

Do they miss me too?

I can't write anymore. I need to go cry into my pillow.


	3. Chapter 3

_Sun and heat from stares_

I had to look presentable for a procession today, and of course the first thing everyone commented on was how tired I looked.

Of course I'm tired.

Can I go? 

Can someone else stand in my place while I run off to live someone else's life in another dimension? Did that even happen? If I was in "the future", why am I not happy to be back home?

I want to be happy.

I have a headache and I need to lie down. 


	4. Chapter 4

7, cloudy skies

I had a whole day to myself, and still I am restless. 

Again, I saw Seth whispering with Kisara in the garden and I think I will avoid that particular spot from now on. He looks so much like Kaiba from the back I need to shut up.

Maybe...I should face my feelings about this. I need to come to terms with the fact that I will never see Yugi or Kaiba, or the others again. I put on a brave face, for Yugi, but I think deep down he knew how heartbroken I was too. 

Maybe if I write it a thousand times, I will start to believe it. Let me try. 

                          I will never see Yugi again

               I will never see Kaiba again

I will never see Yugi again

    I will never see Kaiba again  
           I will never see Yugi again

                    I will never see Kaiba again  
       I will never see Yugi again

I will never see Kaiba again

I will never see Yugi again

                               I will never see Kaiba again  
                                               I will never see Yugi again

          I will never see Kaiba again

 

Well that was a pointless exercise. I now have a mild headache and tears in my eyes


	5. Chapter 5

_10_

_Sun and heat and sun_

I think I'm in love.

I've come to terms with it. I've figured it out! It was right in front of me this entire time. 

I'm in love with Seto Kaiba.

And I envy Yugi for being in the same plane of existence as Kaiba. 

I'm not proud of either feeling. 

I know I was seeing life through Yugi's eyes.   
It's Yugi's life I was living.   
I wasn't alive, and I have to keep reminding myself of that, so it doesn't make sense why do I feel this way why do I feel this way why why why

I want to stop feeling this way.

If this feeling is love, why does my heart hurt with every breath?   
Why does my stomach turn every time Seth talks to me?

Why do I feel rage every time I see him do anything with Kisara?

I don't miss Yugi.   
I miss being Yugi, so that I could be near Kaiba and his magnetic.....selfishness. 

I envy that he can just brashly say and do as he pleases.   
Why can't I be more like that?   
(I know, it's "un-princely" so and so)

But if I was more selfish, I would've stayed!   
Yugi would've let me stay...right?! How would I live then? 

I don't know. 


	6. Chapter 6

11

I'm going to stop writing the weather because it doesn't matter. Nothing matters.

My days keep stretching on, and my nights are endless.

When I do sleep, I dream.

I dream so vividly, it makes me want to never wake up.

I see Seto Kaiba, smiling strangely at me. Other times, he pats me on the shoulder as he walks off the dueling arena, (something he's never done before) but I've dreamed this so much, I think it may have really happened and I'm just remembering it over and over again.

In other dreams, his hands travels lower, down to my chest, and his hand rests there, feeling my beating heart, because I am alive, and he knows that. He knows that. 

He knows that. 

I am alive. I am living right now!

His hands sometimes touch my face, and he uses the backs of his fingers to brush the hair away from my eyes.

One dream, not too long ago, (it was before I started this journal) we had kissed , and I know that is not a normal dream.

That is usually the type of thing Yugi tells me about when he talks about girls.

It's taboo.

I'm turning into something strange.


	7. Chapter 7

12

I'm going to write in Japanese now, to avoid the risk of anyone finding this journal and reading it. 

I will burn the previous pages and start anew. I've already written it down, so there's no point in keeping it. 

I know I'm being ridiculous. No one would dare come in here to touch my things, but writing in this language makes me feel closer to...Yugi...and Kaiba.

It's amazing how much I learned while Yugi napped in class. I still smile at the thought. 

I had another annoying dream about Seto Kaiba, and I wish I didn't. 

In my dream, he was rude and nasty, always glaring and yelling at someone or something in the distance. 

Mokuba appeared in my dream for the first time too. 

He looked...older. I think time passed. A lot of time has passed in Yugi's world. Or maybe no time at all. I'm obsessively thinking about it all the time! Every waking moment! 

I might be ill. 


	8. Chapter 8

I can't

do this anymore.

I just snuck back into my room after discarding several used linens ....I did something shameful. 

But I feel like I will keep doing it because I feel somewhat at ease. 

Who will see inside my mind now? No one! I need to keep reminding myself that yugi will not see me ...touching myself while thinking about Kaiba. How embarrassing. I feel filthy. Oh if Kaiba knew, he would laugh his ass off at me and never let me live it down.

Do I love him or do I just miss his brashness? 

I love him. 

I love everything about him.

The beautiful curves of his neck is something I can't forget. I can't forget the way he looks at me with his cold, blue eyes. He does it on purpose? I would like to think so, but who the hell knows, and that's another part of him that I love. 

He will say one thing and do another. 

His mouth could be saying "I hate you" while his dick is connected to my asshole. 

I didn't just write that. I'm going to try to sleep again

 


	9. Chapter 9

It's been a fortnight since I've written anything down. 

I'll write something down now, confessing my horrible sins.

It seems that once I let myself think about Kaiba, I won't stop. My mind is just 

flooded

with thoughts of him. I've even tried to mentally recreate him entirely in my mind, right down to the shiny metal studs on his coat. 

Why does he wear belts on his arms? It looks ridiculous. Why does Yugi wear two belts? I keep remembering them feeling heavy around my waist and it affects the way I stand and move. 

Mahad commented on my odd walking posture and Mana giggled at the way I adjusted my robe around my waist. I wish they would stop.


	10. Chapter 10

I can't stop.

The method I've been using to fall asleep has been losing its effectiveness. 

Usually, lewd thoughts about Kaiba lying beneath me are enough to make me soil the sheets, but I've been doing that every night. I feel so empty.

What do I do?!

Someone please tell me what do I do?!

I can't go back to intrude upon Yugi's life and god damn it the sun has risen and I have to show my face to a crowd today.

I need to line my eyes heavily to hide the dark shadows on my face.


	11. Chapter 11

 

I feel like not existing anymore. At least that wasn't painful and I had a purpose.

 

I feel like I have no purpose now. 

 

Being in love is a horrible feeling. 


	12. Chapter 12

 What would his arms feel like around me????

I desperately want to know.

What would his lips feel like on mine? Softly moving down my cheek to kiss my neck, my shoulders, my chest, my stomach. 

I want to make love to him. 

I want him to make love to me!

I want raw, rough, passionate sex.

I want him to tear my soul apart in his hands and forcefully make me forget who I am and why I'm here. 

I just want


	13. Chapter 13

Does he think about me?

That's a question I think about a million billion trillion times a day no matter what I'm doing.  
  
Does he think about me?

Does he love me the way I love him?

Does he even know I'm not Yugi?

Does he care?


	14. Chapter 14

Today, I sat at the edge of my boat, dipping my feet into the Nile, and considered drowning myself.

 

I need to stop being so ungrateful.  



	15. Chapter 15

I had another dream about the Kaiba brothers again. Seto had somehow made his brother cry. What an asshole.

If I ever see Kaiba again, the first thing I would do is slap him across the face.  
And then kiss him. Maybe not in that order.


	16. Chapter 16

My hands are shaking as I write this. I can't believe this isn't a dream.

This is a dream and I am dreaming.

Let me start from this afternoon.

A messenger boy came bursting into the court, panting and red in the face, gasping incoherently.

It took a while to calm him down, and after a few cups of water, he managed to say that there was an alien walking through the bazaar.

"He's tall and wearing white like an angel, but he looks like the devil!" was what the boy said, and my first thought was immediately towards Seto Kaiba, and I dismissed it hurriedly, asking the boy to further describe this alien.

"Human-shaped." was the answer I got, and as the boy was drinking more water, I could feel my subjects shifting uncomfortably beside me.

I told everyone to stay alert and held an open court.

Everyone converged around me and began offering their advice.

The consensus was for armed guards to escort the alien onto the palace grounds and interrogate him while he was immobilized, and I immediately thought that if Kaiba had somehow indeed managed to travel here, an armed welcome was not appropriate.

"What color was his hair?" I asked the messenger, and the boy hitched his bag on his shoulder, looking keen to leave.

"Brown?" the boy said uncertainly, and my heart nearly stopped in my chest.

"Are you sure? What color was his skin?" I pressed, and the boy shrugged carelessly.

"I dunno," he answered, sweating visibly. "I only saw him from afar!"

And he was led away by one of my guards.

And I was thinking...impossible, wasn't it?! But Kaiba was known for accomplishing the impossible! 

Brown hair and wearing white like an angel?

"I know this man," I declared so loudly, I could hear my own voice echoing loudly in the room.

Noises of discontent and concern rose up around me and I dismissed them all with a great effort.

It was Kaiba. Kaiba was coming! I was sure of it!

I watched my subjects file out of the room, some throwing me looks of discontent over their shoulders, and I waved lightly, forcing a smile on my face.

If this alien wasn't Kaiba, I would pay for it with my life, and that would be an adequate punishment for a fool like me.

I sat back down, waiting, extremely impatient, supremely excited, unable to contain myself.

There were only two guards left in the room with me, and they were visibly uncomfortable.

"You may go if you don't want to risk your life," I said to them, and they both shook their heads at me.

"Your safety is our top priority" and some other bullshit, but they were clearly frightened!

Fine.

So I waited. And I waited some more. How long would it take for him to walk from the bazaar to the palace gates?

And I resolved to wait all day if I had to. I've already waited...I don't know how many months. I stopped keeping track.

It felt like an eternity, but finally, I heard footsteps.

And then, I saw him, standing there, looking incredibly handsome with his flowing white overcoat, looking slightly worn out, wearing a determined smirk on his beautiful...soft...wonderful lips. And I rose to my feet to greet him, my heart pounding way too quickly in my chest. 

I felt faint, but I stood my ground, smiling what I hoped was a friendly smile.

He looked different than I remembered.

Why was he here? 

For me, right? Why else?

He was here for me! He had found me here! How? How? It didn't matter, nothing mattered as I almost tripped off the stairs running down towards him.

I saw his eyes widen quickly and his hand went immediately to the duel disk? strapped to his forearm.

He opened his mouth to speak, presumably to hurl an insult at me or to challenge me to a silly duel, but I beat him to it by throwing my arms around him tightly, feeling his warmth seeping into my skin, reminding me that everything was indeed very, very real.

I felt him stagger back at the force of my hug, and there was a solid heartbeat of silence before I felt strong arms come down around me as he returned the embrace with equal vigor.

My heart was going to explode! It feels like exploding now! I'm so worried about him, but I'm so incredibly happy!!

And can you believe the first word he ever spoke was "oh." ??!

I could cry from laughter.

"Oh?" I asked, gazing up at him and unwilling to get go, feeling him sway slightly in my arms. I would never let this man go. Would he have to go?

"So, I was right," was the second thing he said.

And "it worked" was the third thing he said.

I wanted to hit something.

"You're a coward for running away" was the fourth thing he said, and I reached up to slap him across the face as I had planned, but he caught my wrist quickly and I heard a rush of footsteps behind me as my guards advanced on him.

"Unhand him. Your actions are punishable by death!" one of the guards said, and Kaiba sniffed arrogantly at them, saying, "I think I might have died." And I held onto him tightly, feeling his belt digging through the thin fabric of my robe.

No.  
Wrong! We are very much alive!!

I shooed the guards away, telling them that Kaiba was an alien and that he doesn't abide by our rules (or anyone's rules for that matter), and I led him away into my quarters, my heart pounding quicker with each step.

Kaiba had just let me touch him freely! Back in Yugi's world, he would've never been fine with that!

And I could feel him looking around with great interest as I pushed open the heavy door to my room and shut it, watching him drift over to the bed and fall forwards onto it.

Alarmed, I went to help him up. He sat up and laughed, pressing a hand to his head, and I stared in horror at the odd specks of matter floating off his arms...in fact it was coming off from his entire body! Was he disappearing?!

And fear gripped me so hard, I threw myself at him again, tightening my arms around his shoulders, feeling him relax into my arms.

"You're real," he said, and his hand rested lightly on my forearm, and I stared at his slender fingers, his voice echoing for miles around in my head. Yes, I'm real! I'm so very real!

I asked him how he felt and told him to rest, and this caused his hand to tighten over my forearm as he lifted his gaze to meet mine. 

My heart would not stop pounding in my ears as he repeated himself.

"You're real", he said again, and he smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen him smile.

At this point, I couldn't help myself, and I only nodded, staring deeply into his eyes as I pressed my forehead firmly against his, also feeling myself smile, and I bent down to kiss him, but failed miserably.

I could feel the fronts of his teeth bumping painfully against mine, and it made my ears ring.

He just smiled against my teeth so hard, I could feel him shaking. I was shaking. 

Did he love me? I wanted to ask this now, so I could hear him say it.

Does he know who I am?

I wanted a proper kiss, but I didn't get one until later, because his hand was sliding up my thigh. His thumb traced a sensual circle around my inner leg, sending shivers down my body, and all of my lewd, dirty thoughts came back in a rush.

I grabbed him by the shoulders and climbed on top of him easily, feeling the stiff uncomfortable fabric from his coat chafing my skin as I lifted my robe to flash him my front, showing him my arousal, faintly wondering if he would yell and push me away, but he did no such thing.

Instead, he stared breathlessly at it, at me, his eyes never leaving my body. His eyes made me burn.

I wanted to say so many things in that moment, but nothing was said. 

It was just hands, teeth, tongue, and his breath on my skin, on every inch of me as he tore at my clothes, and his clothes...remained on, and I was angry about that.

I glared at him once and he could read my mind.

"I don't know how this works," he said stupidly, sounding as if he had something stuck in his throat.

I told him that he was a true idiot, and that it was either fill, or be filled, and he shook his head nervously.

"Will my clothes disappear if I take them off? Will my body be able to handle the exertion?"

And I sobered up instantly. I was acting without knowing everything.

Fine, then, what was the whole story? Tell me quickly. My body aches to be touched by you.

I didn't say any of that.

I just nodded and watched him sit back on his heels, pressing a hand to his head, cursing about time passing and having left Mokuba alone for too long.

I decided not to pile on and I waited for him to speak.

Finally, he did.

He said his body was "theoretically" tethered to Yugi's world, and that he had managed to harness the power of "the plana", which was raw energy, which he thinks comes from the spirit of dueling. Something like that. I have no idea.

I laughed slightly, because it was very surreal to hear Kaiba say those words seriously, and then it hit me:

Kaiba had changed his entire course, just to find me. And he had left everyone behind while doing so. Mokuba. He had left Mokuba…for me.

"You must go back," I said, gritting my teeth and trying to set my feelings aside. I know he had just arrived, and it was wrong of me to send him away, but he had left his only living family!

Who am I to him?!

"I haven't...quite figured out how to go back," he said quickly, and I was so conflicted at this news. Kaiba, who was always so sure of his actions, of the consequences, had no idea how to return home?

"What do we do?" I asked fearfully, and he just lay down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Let me think, and let me rest," he said tiredly, and I nodded, lying down beside him.

This was when he grabbed me around the shoulders and pulled me against his body, and I could hear his heart thumping steadily in his chest. 

Love. This was surely love, right?

And I wasn't prepared for it.

He leaned over me and pressed his lips warmly across mine, kissing me ever so softly while his hand gently kneaded my upper arms, pressing the gold bands into my skin.

Oh it was wonderful. 

This was the kiss I had been dreaming of for so long.  
It was somehow better and worse than what I had imagined.

And just like that, it was over.  
His lips left mine, and he hovered above me, his hair falling handsomely away from his face, and I felt my head spin wonderfully.

"Take it off," he said quietly. "I may not be able to take my clothes off, but I want to see you as you are."

And my heart skipped a beat as I struggled to sit up.

I nodded silently and slowly slid the gold off my wrists, watching Kaiba's eyes follow my every movement like a hawk.

If my subjects knew I was disrobing in front of this...this "alien", then I would be hung without mercy, but I pushed my doubts aside and lifted the heavy collar off my shoulders, seeing Kaiba’s hands pass across my face as he helped me.

I watched him weigh the collar in his hands, staring down at it with a strange expression.

It was a face I had never seen him make, and I hastily patted the pillow. I told him to sleep, and that I would bring him water and wine.

I had killed the mood with my statement about him returning home, and I could already sense that that was the only thing he was thinking about.

He stared at me for a long moment and nodded.

When I came back into my room, he was fast asleep. It was an alarming sight to see. Such a tall man, lying there in my bed, dressed in his modern clothes while surrounded by my finery…I would’ve never imagined this to be possible.  
  
A few moments ago, I leaned over him and realized he wasn’t breathing.

Terrified, I shook him by the shoulders, calling his name, and he still hasn’t awaken.

I’m scared.  
I don’t know what Kaiba has used to tether his body to Yugi’s world, and I no longer have means of communication into that realm, so I can’t tell Mokuba his brother was fine. Is he fine?

I will wait.  
He better wake up.  
I don’t know what I would do if he won’t.


	17. Chapter 17

It has been one whole day.

The sun rose and set again. Kaiba still has not awoken.

Shimon, Mahad, and Karim peeked their heads in curiously at different times of the day, to check in on me, and to stare before hurrying away.

I’m looking at him lying on my bed now, and I can’t help but to feel a strange sense of dread. The dark particles are still hovering around his body, and they’re drifting away, vanishing into thin air. I’ve tried to catch them in my hands, but I just pass right through.

The comforting thing is that when the particles evaporate from his body, he remains intact. I thought at some point during the night, he would vanish, so I sat by his side, tightly gripping onto his hand. 

I have not slept, so I feel a little out of sorts.  
  
Someone is knocking again.


	18. Chapter 18

HE WOKE UP! FINALLY HE DID!

I was so relieved and happy I could not speak.

I just threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly again, feeling his hands rest on my hips.

He gazed into my eyes and my heart did a flip in my chest.

“I figured it out,” he said, and I nodded wordlessly. Sure. Yes. Whatever. I wanted to make love. He had figured out how to take off his clothes? Good. Great.

But it wasn’t that.

“I need to go back while I still have…” and I didn’t hear the rest of what he said.

My worst fears confirmed. This is what I get, for not being selfish enough.

I asked if he needed to eat, to drink, anything, and he shook his head, rising to his feet sadly and glancing around the room with a strange look on his face.

“This is a bad question,” he said, and I hung onto his every word, feeling weak in the knees. We spent no time together. All he did was lie on my bed lifelessly after kissing me once. How dare he leave!

He looked at me and I realized I didn’t hear his question. I was too angry, too upset, too everything.

“Do you want to come back with me?” was what he had asked, and I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

I sat down on the stool beside my vanity, staring at the wooden surface, staring at my bracelets sitting in a small stack.

“I don’t belong there,” I said, and my heart ached as I spoke those words.

“Yeah, I don’t belong here,” Kaiba retaliated, and I don’t know what the hell was the point in anything. If I went back, I would intrude upon Yugi’s life.

“What’s keeping you here?” Kaiba asked me quietly, and I couldn't bring myself to look at him. Nothing.

“I’m coming back for you,” Kaiba said, and this time he sounded angry. “I’ll pry you away from this world with everything I have. You belong in my dimension.”

He said that lie with such conviction, I even believed it for a moment.

“Yugi…” I began, and he cut me off in his usual, rude manner. “No one said anything about Yugi.”

And I stared at him for a long moment, slowly feeling as if a weight was being lifted off my shoulders. R-Really?!

This meant, I could return…without disturbing Yugi’s life.

This means I can return without disturbing Yugi’s life!

“I’m coming back for you, after I re-adjust the algorithm,” Kaiba said coldly.

I gazed into his eyes and I could see warmth. He really meant it!

“Why can’t you take me with you now?” I asked stubbornly, as I was ready to go now! I don’t have anything I wanted to take with me! I would go as I am!

“I don’t have enough…energy,” Kaiba said, sounding very conflicted. “My body is in an all-environment sealed capsule. A machine is breathing for me. I’m dying.”

He was dying.

He was dying?!

Then…how would I know that he would make it back here a second time?! Surely, putting your body through that is not…good!

“Don’t come back,” I said, feeling myself shake as I rose to my feet. I would not be able to live with myself if Kaiba did that again! He didn’t wake up for a full day! Did he know how much that scared me?!

“I won’t need to,” he replied, sounding very pleased. “I can open a portal, similar to the one you walked through before.”

And I blinked at him, shocked. Was he a magician or had he gone mad? He was spouting nonsense!

“I dare you to try,” I scoffed, and he smiled at me again, that wonderful, arrogant smile which held a hint of sadness.

He walked towards me and pulled me into a tight embrace, speaking into the fabric of my shoulder. “I need to go now.”

I blinked, feeling strangely angry. Don’t. I didn’t want him to go.  
  
I shook my head furiously and grabbed onto him tightly, an odd pressure building behind my eyes. No, I would not cry in front of him.

I felt a hot breath graze my neck, and I pulled him close for one, last kiss, and our teeth bumped again, but this time, I wasn’t smiling. I was crying.

I was crying so hard, I couldn't contain it. My shoulders were shaking so hard, I sank to the floor and felt him catch me and ease me gently down.

I could hear him telling me to stop, but that only made me cry harder. My jaw ached from being clenched so hard.

Can’t I compose myself for one proper kiss? Apparently not.

His lips were warm across my eyelids.  
His cold fingertips brushed the wetness away from my cheeks, and he pressed his lips against my mouth too, but I couldn't reciprocate. I was just…a mess, gasping for breath, trying to return the kiss, but unable to.

“This is a good sign,” I heard him say. “This means I’m not ripping you away from your stupid afterlife. Yugi kept saying I couldn't bring you back, and honestly, he doesn’t deserve you.”

I managed to calm down after hearing him speak Yugi’s name casually. Of course Yugi would say that.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Kaiba caught me just as I parted my lips, and finally, this was a kiss I’m not ashamed to record in these pages.

I felt his tongue slide over my teeth and touch mine for the first time, and I melted. I couldn't believe that I could feel this way. The kiss was soft and wonderful before it turned intense and needy. Suddenly, his hands were in my hair, and my hands were in his hair, and I grabbed a fistful of it. So soft. His hair was so soft! And his mouth never left mine. I couldn't breathe, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that we stayed connected.

His jaw was tightly clenched from his effort of holding back, and I pulled him closer, tasting him on my breath one last time before he pulled away and gazed deeply into my eyes.

I offered to give him food, water, wine, gold, anything he needed, and he refused it all.

“Wait for me. That’s all I want,” he said, and I pressed his hand to my face, unable to believe that my dream was already ending. What had I done to deserve this pain?!

He stood slowly and I escorted him through the palace, hearing the whispers echoing around the room. I can’t write about this anymore. I’ve shed too many tears about this.

I saw him away at the gates and I raced back into my quarters, unable to feel my own legs, unable to feel my own body. I just want to sleep and never wake up.

It’s so much harder to wait now that I know he’s coming.  
When will he come?  
  
I can’t wait any longer.  
   
He’s been gone for a whole minute, and I feel like I’m already being ripped apart.  
All I can do is wish him a safe travel home.

I can’t wait any more.

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END  
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**Author's note:**

Thank you for reading this story!

There will be a second part titled **LAPIS LAZULI II** , coming soon to a computer screen near you! Please let me know how you liked it!

In the meantime, please check out my most recent works, I Am Just a Poor and Starving Artist and Eight-Sided Shape!  
  
warm hugs,  
UGLI


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